Vridd Skoggen

Trying to forget i miss you

Be it my open eyes in ungodly hours
The drugs i take to numb the ache
Or the time i waste waiting for you.

Something is both killing and keeping me.

Away from the rest in mind, body engaging and soul sold for a moments clarity which I’ve forgotten
Now i sit empty and surrounded
I’ll continue to stay awake
Drink snort and smoke
And miss you
until my heart gives out
until you come back
To save me from myself
At this point i don’t know which is better

Vridd Skoggen

Smile and look alive

None of this is real
Atleast i hope it isn’t
In my private moments I’m knocking on walls. Looking behind me.
Trying to catch reality slipping
This can’t be all there is.
Anticipating sleep and hating the waking moments.
Reminded of reality.
Reminded of myself
This consciousness is temporary
My memories will fade
My body will rot
But none of this is real
With my eyes closed it all disappears
With my hearing muffled everything is far away.
None of this is real
If it is then let me choose
To join in or not
I didn’t ask for this
Life isn’t a gift. Its just something we all have to do.
“It will be over soon love don’t fret
None of this is real”

Vridd Skoggen

Fortunate Demon

If i could possess another body

I’d find my own and kill it

I’d watch myself flinch

See the panic in my eyes

Hear the wimper and guttural moan

Puncture my heart

Hold myself down

Watch my breathing slow

Feel the fight leave my arms

Watch the light fade from my wide eyes

I’d burn the body in a bin then climb in

With the others body

Vridd Skoggen

Gradual change contempt

I’m not troubled by the passing of time nor by the lack of solidity in this life i know it can’t be changed
Hollow buildings and sinister organizations plague my dreams and are now seeping into my waking existence
my reality is being haunted. Haunted like a middle aged addict of a vice, anxiety with legs and a jacket walking the streets avoiding crowds and eye contact.
I want a numbing pill, something to stop the voices mumbling doubt and paranoia in hiss of the bus or drum of a distant train
between the lines of the city the fear like a cancer grows and is consuming the small life i have left
i’m young but my youth is wasted on me, 23 but my worries are older.

Vridd Skoggen

Pub drunk post coitus

Restful wake in an eve of summer
on my chest a hand and my neck  a breath
thighs around my fingers
Sleeping the sweet counter to me
venus to my mars
Feminine soft and quietly comforting
like a mother to an adult child
built to need the other and procreate
we lie in rest
with two phones on charge

Vridd Skoggen

The man in the woods (unfinished)

i saw him
whilst fixing the fence to the east
he moved from bush to tree then vanished
i can’t say anything the people will panic

the stories are true he is tall and slight
he moves unnaturally just a blur of black
they say he has twelve fingers that are long and slim
he leads people to the woods
and eats children

He’s an excellent mimic
you can’t trust what you hear
the sound of children laughing fills us with fear
why is he culling again after so many years?

i remember it faintly the winter was long
the best of the village the brave and the strong
took up weapons and torches marched into trees
entered angry forty came out broken three

“He’s a shrieking ghoul”
“a mad man” they stuttered
“enjoys making the holy suffer”

He is back from our nightmares the man in the woods
to use his dark magic to prey on the good-

Vridd Skoggen

rambling in the rain

I enjoy the rain, it keeps wanderers inside but not me
With no real agenda i walk and experience this landscape in the deluge
streetlights make the road and pavement glisten orange and white
all sounds muffled by the drum of the rain and even the simplest act is made dramatic

Into the train station i hear the first rumble of thunder
My coat is heavy with water i feel my trainers swelling and squelching
out onto the empty platform the sign is blank, no trains tonight no reason for anyone to be here
a metal sign swings back and forth in the wind, a white flash lights up the trees
another clap of thunder louder this time i can feel it in my chest and the rain gets heavier

Occasionally i forget where i am and wonder why i went for a walk in the first place
i suppose that’s the point of it, to forget worries and troubles of normal life
replace it with temporary homelessness to put ones self at the mercy of the world
after awhile the rain and the cold seep through my coat and i stand at the entrance waiting for the rain to ease
From down the street i see a figure moving quickly towards the station

through the downpour the figure gets closer, its a girl with her jacket over her head
i think shes talking to herself but then i realize she’s talking on the phone
as she approaches she notices me and looks shocked pausing her conversation for a moment
then continues through the rain looking back probably to see if i was following her

i’ve become one of those people, a person you see a million times but never remember
or see me once and never forget… the nomads or nobodies in all conurbations that seem
to just exist to fill empty space, i am an extra in that girls movie if only for a few seconds
being a living ghost has its advantages it makes loneliness easier to process
the rain doesn’t ease and the streets are empty.

Vridd Skoggen

Dreaming on a monday

Another trip back from the fractal and infinite chasm of my mind
down a dimly lit concrete staircase greenish hue echos of a familiar space from my childhood
the faint smell of urine and wet paint, frosted glass muffles the orange lights outside that seem supernatural
The cold bannister thick black paint over the dented old metal is keeping me upright.

it moves into my waist as gravity shifts my feet leave the concrete i lose my grip and i’m falling passed the floors
while falling and watching the repetitive stairway going downwards a figure appears on each floor
Blurry and black, a deep loud but non threatening voice asks.
“are you alright?”
I want to reply but i cannot speak nor can i move i can only watch the floors and the figure pass like being
inside a zoetrope
the fall starts to slow and the green light fades and I’m staring at my ceiling with my hand reaching out
“i don’t know”

Vridd Skoggen

Let it grow (Forlorn Deity)

Molded in a cast of oppression under the watchful eye of abusers
If god is real then he is insane us sheep drink his sons blood
mass acceptance turns cult to religion force me to shout at the sky and fear the earth
mother smile as men in black tell me my thoughts are unholy they hold monopoly on my souls worth
demons in my head tell me i am evil mother tells me to prey
sitting at the feet of Christ shaking with fear convinced ill burn in hell

i grew and could see the forest through the trees your god holds no power over me
What once i thought was darkness i now embrace like an old friend
no god on high or monsters of fire only nature exists the beginning and the end
understand the complexity of life and energy beyond our sky
we grow and swell shrink and die break down then start anew
I’m not condemned nor am i blessed i am a being once many now few

life only changes we are here by luck everything is temporary
the cycle has always been and always will be a calming thought for me
i am one in 100 billion and a trillion more in our nothingness we are powerful
no echo in time no grand singularity, only accidental consciousness of carbon on rock
God is all of us we collective, the Devil is the wolves we fend off with fire
I’m not an intelligent man but i understand that its greed that creates your messiah
humans should be humble our time has been brief and productive, blink and you could have missed it
lay down my bones in the roots and the stones and forget that i ever existed