You may put a number to my words,
Slurring thoughts supposedly taught and
Bought from hands turned towards fraudulent
Hordes. Did it ever occur that
Boredom has swept my mind? filling
In dotted lines, pining for a sign that the
One and only love from above reciprocates
But what I get barely fascinates and just
Debilitates my ability to facilitate a gift.
Now the eyes shift into a sigh of arrogance
But let me fill you in. My sin was always
Anger. Anger, strangling at being afraid,
Being laid bare with none that cared,
Even when I was scared. I couldn’t
Dare blare rare ideas over years for fear
Of more tears from leering stares.
Trapped in an entrapping snare. “Be a man,
Why do you care about this shit if you’re something?”
By every definition I’m nothing surrounded
By unfounded and ungrounded dead eyes
That despise the wise and hypnotise with false cries.
I’m not trying to lift myself up by lying
But confiding in you a certain truth. A feeling
That’s more real but can’t be sealed in words
But in every verse laid out in the dirt,
Like footsteps in desertous outskirts
I’m treading ground no one has as
Passion goes unnoticed. Do you feel out of focus?
Reel at my rage? do you understand
That every page created is left for dead,
Because free thought is like sewer venom
To academia. Even if you see you can’t
Dream as I do, you don’t have a clue.
But is it not my due? In lewd thoughts
As the one caught in confusion. Maybe
It’s delusion but I can’t help feeling
Drawn and sworn to not conform as
If I was born with a mission. I just
Want someone to listen, my life is not an
Intermission but like fission, powerful and
Soulfully fraught with existence. Hindrance
By questions since consequence became
conscience, am I dense or full of false providence?
Don’t know but this flow comes from somewhere,
Why do I care? Because laws stall this
Life call and I don’t know what
It even is, synthesis in this life long
Quiz and incision; kissing my mind,
Making me grind time away with nothing
To say isn’t good enough. I am not a clutter
Of stuff or a bluff cuffed and snuffed out
By bout after bout of loud mouthed sour
Flouting false kings. Bringing lingering praise
From long gone days into a haze of suffering.
Buffering delusion, “how do you do it,
what’s that secret song you sing?”
No clear answer just pampered fast
Words so devoid of toyed concepts. Like
A pair of forceps used to bring forth
The abortion that is your inflated self worth.
You may call and forewarn this as crass,
With the many things you pull out of your ass
But my sass is true, simply because of you.
Leaving divorced minds black and blue;
If you have a passion but no tassel
To unravel or camel to travel along the road
You’re born for, how can you break but not be torn
By this forlorn journey. This shit is poor,
I want more than a tour but raw outlawed
Thoughts, sought but yet found; fighting whilst
Off the ground. Left beaten down and slithering sound,
We’re simmering now, blow for blow and no witness in tow.
I’m not to trust as I thrust waters,
Bursting forth with lion like roar
Seeing like an unborn sworn to tear
This shit up, Never giving up living.
Raise your middle finger in the air
Until someone notices and stares.
They may stop playing flay the dismayed
And stop paying attention to what is displayed,
As if life is laid out with no doubt.
I want an out to this slanted, barely
Well handled candle we understand to be
Soul. Don’t die or grow old with no hand
To fold, there are thoughts untold, for
The bold are sure but the enlightened are
Poor. What am I talking to you for, lauding
An audience barely aware of existential sentience,
Just building soldered fences and
Penting up sentences they’ll never say
In fear of not being clever. Severe the cord
And sow some discord on life’s blackboard.
Living a life we can’t afford any more,
In balance of opposing stance. Can’t even
Believe in blinded binds, rescinding the kindling
That powers the soul, do you ever feel cold?
You probably think that, understandably,
It’s not your responsibility to think beyond
Tomorrow. What, you gonna follow and
Do what you’re told because when you grow
Old you want a pension and some pretension?
Do you want to live or give everything you have?
Are you sad or complacent? Damned or sacred?
Taking away everything since you were a kid.
Are you angry or can you not stand
me? I’m not here to please but make
Feasible the unbelievable and bring trouble
From under the rubble, like a couple
Of subtle Hubble telescopes, Huddled but
Full of hope. Let me widen the scope
And give you some rope. Do you really
Believe the shit that they tote?
As they sit and smoke, choking on egos
Which seed those throws that keep you
Up at night. Filling your mind’s eye with
A barrage of mirages, keeping you from looking to the stars.
Break free from the bars, become broken and
Scarred. Even if you don’t get far you’ll have
One card nobody else can deal, become real, stand and
Don’t be bland and rot on this pale blue dot in a strand of stars.
You want fast cars? or do you truly,
Foolishly think you’re free?
It’s not hard to see but easier to
Believe when no hope chokes your throat.
Begging for a window to know that there’s
A way off this boat, I don’t want to
Gloat but more people keep to themselves,
Content with being in hell. Are they alive
Or living a lie? It’s hard to tell how far
They fell or if they can even tell but the
Dinner bell rings for mindless people,
Too devoid to think as they sink young
Optimism into drink after drink and before
They even blink they’re six feet under.
Do you ever wonder what happens when you die?
If anyone will cry or if the man in the sky
Is a lie? If you’ll be understood or if you
Could or should of made a difference by pen
Or penitence. It doesn’t make sense, Why
Do you lie like the devil in disguise, like prying
Eyes despise you as if you have a clue;
Blue in the face as you live your ever loving disgrace.
Keeping pace with fiddling arms as they charm
You into being undone.
Come now, you knew where this was going,
Flowing like a river, in a direction of
Ill-perfection but no lecture will lead to
New conjecture. Just a few long gone
Freedoms that you bleed for but never realise
You’ve been hypnotised by cynical mind sets
Duly wept. You upset yet? The passage of
Time will tell only stories that will fit well.
Too bad the truth is ugly, like the light
Of the sun it’ll be tinted behind glasses
Masking everlasting contrast to those who
Let loose of this noose with every breath, bone and tooth.