Meursault, Ossídio Gaspar, The Judge-Penitent, Vridd Skoggen

Ossídio starts…

These emotions we seem to share can both burn and freeze the moments in which they appear. Their moments are soundless, they are sleeping, but in dreams they have they are populated with noise and restlessness, tired and yet they must awake themselves to sleep further, to lie in both darkness and light, in the torrent of rain or in the torrents of sunshine, because dreaming we must do apart, in ourselves in the remote distance of our unnatural lives, apart from each other. But we are alive in these emotions we share. Moments we can find each other in.

Moments to remember, to store, shapeless and formless in their waking birth, laying in their bed till the night comes, to give them their unnatural education. Ready to aid new moments ever weathered by the elemental forces of emotion, linking together a community that makes a narrative, narratives that can hold each other.

An understanding of these emotions and moments is to accept their fleetingness and temporary state within us.
It’s to mould the negatives into a frame for your light and to allow the positives to grow into something greater than ourselves. To stand in awe of our self-reflection and to be happy with the reality we inhabit.

An emotional sickness has gripped me for quite some time now. It has clouded my mind and dulled my perception of all that requires my sentient interpretation. Horrific events have fluttered by me, just like the passing of an insignificant leave caught in an autumnal breeze. Consequently one is unsure whether this is an affliction upon my being or a more natural reaction to the reduction of moral sentimentality which for so long has been spread upon the muddy field of society. In considering these thoughts I believe that I have reached a conclusion, this being that I am more my ‘self’ than ever before. No longer am I a mere collection of other ethically obliged selves moulded together, for now I am one unique self, devoid of all others. I for one am exceedingly impressed by my findings, by this turn away from herd mentality. The return to the self is laid out bare in front of me for in my ‘sickness’ I have found sanctuary.


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